Dear Abby: Massive crush keeps love life on hold
Dear Abby I m struggling with something that feels both silly and painful I ve developed intense feelings maybe even limerence for a man I know and no matter how hard I try no one else seems to compare I have tried dating apps looking at younger guys older guys conventionally attractive guys Nothing clicks I keep thinking why can t I just lower my standards Or why can t I find others attractive when I know logically this person isn t the only man on Earth Am I broken Am I too fixated on a type Am I missing out on good people just because they don t give me butterflies I know I can t and maybe shouldn t wait around for this one guy but opening myself up to others feels impossible when they all feel so meh or even repulsive in comparison How can I break out of this mental trap I m so I feel I need to figure this all out Stuck in My Head and Heart Dear Stuck The kind of intense attraction you feel for this man does not necessarily lead to a lasting relationship Not once in your letter did you mention that he has indicated he has feelings for you or even knows who you are At the age of you are a little old to be waiting around for someone who may never come around A way to break out of what you call the mental trap would be to start concentrating on other things and live your life Put the fantasy of romance aside for a while and you may meet various wonderful people and form relationships that are reciprocal Dear Abby My sister is struggling with severe mental medical issues and so is her live-in boyfriend of years She thinks everyone she s ever had contact with was involved in human trafficking her throughout her childhood Abby we grew up safe and privileged on a farm but my sister had a few severe trauma starting in our late teen years We are now in our mid- s She refuses healing and thinks there is nothing wrong with her Everyone in our family except for our mom has distanced themselves from her including her three adult children We all love her but if we try to help she creates destructive delusions regarding our lives too She s unfailingly been a handful but has gone downhill since she has been with her boyfriend Neither one of them can work and she is trying to get on disability He already is They barely get by Abby what can we do to help It is painful to see her this way when medicine could help but she refuses Losing Hope in Illinois Dear Losing Hope Medicine might help IF your sister were willing to accept that kind of intervention Because she isn t and she and her boyfriend are barely getting by it might be wise to seek the help of a social worker If there is a department of mental healthcare in your sister s county consider contacting someone there and asking for help with this complication Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
