Dear Abby: Ivy poisoned relationship when ex moved in

Dear Abby I have been with my girlfriend Ivy for eight years We see each other mainly on the weekends as she lives and works out of town She says she is tied down to her house and daughter and can t move here even though she works only three days a week A meager years ago Ivy s ex-husband moved back in with her as he transferred jobs She knows I m not happy about it and that I want her to spend more time with me but she says she demands to coddle her daughter and take care of the dog She rarely initiates anything and I m tired of being the one to do the extra things for our relationship I want to break up and move on but she has ingratiated herself with my family and this would make it hard She knows all my issues with her but she either can t or won t make the change Weekends-Only in California Dear Weekends-Only You stated that the ex-husband moved back in with your girlfriend a insufficient years ago They have reconciled Ivy has shown you where her priorities lie and you are not high on that list By all means move on and tell your family why It will be up to them to decide whether they want to maintain a relationship with her once they see the entire picture Dear Abby Lately my neighbor who has unfailingly been eccentric has embarked on an exceptional gardening project Instead of traditional plants he s turned his backyard into a sprawling sanctuary for rescued wild animals At first it seemed harmless but the situation has escalated His yard now attracts wildlife including raccoons skunks and even the occasional coyote While I appreciate his intent I m worried about safety especially for my two small children and our dog who are terrified when they encounter these creatures If that isn t enough my beloved pet cat has developed strange behaviors She s been staring intently at the wall as if she senses something I can t see This may seem silly but it unsettles me especially since I ve read articles about pets reacting to shifts in their surroundings My mother says I m overreacting to the neighbor s project and should just let things be which only deepens my anxiety Should I confront my neighbor about the animal situation or let it go Am I overreacting about my cat s behavior I worry that others will think I m losing my grip on reality How can I find a balance between addressing these concerns and maintaining peace in my neighborhood and family Overwhelmed in Ohio Dear Overwhelmed Your mother may think you are overreacting but how do the other neighbors feel about this Are they troubled as well Is what this neighbor is doing legal in your society In specific communities there are ordinances against feeding wild animals let alone collecting them Go online and start doing a few research If your increased level of anxiety persists ask your healthcare provider to refer you to a mental medical professional to help you deal with it Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA